"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear." - H.P. Lovecraft ...and I agree with him.
But how can we define fear? According to the dictionary fear is: "A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread." Very academic. Therefore, I prefer the interactive video definition:
So here I am 'dismantling' my thoughts of fear...exploring the different types of fears I experienced so far:
- Fear of loosing someone you love - for me the biggest fear of all. I found a very nice article about it, which I am willing to share:
"Thinking about the possibility of losing someone you love is devastating, not to mention hurtful. You may have invested too much of your time and feelings for that person and so just the thought of losing that person would leave you in a state of panic.
There are different categories of people with whom a person can have deep affections. The fear of losing any one of these people can be traumatic for a person, especially if he or she has just experienced a heavy loss, like divorce or death of a loved one.
A person can fear losing his spouse, his parents, his children, his relatives, his friends, or any person who is close to his heart. This fear can be caused or influenced by several factors such as:
Divorce or separation - A person who recently went through divorce or separation proceedings can easily be haunted by separation anxiety due to the stress accompanied by the divorce process. It is not easy for a person to live with a spouse for a period of time and to separate with that person. Divorce proceedings are usually hostile and confrontational so such proceedings will always leave a bad taste in the mouth. In the same manner, a person who is about to undergo a divorce or separation will also be subjected to stress.
Empty nest - A fulltime mother can easily feel depressed when she realizes her children are growing up and are slowly becoming independent. This anxiety stems from the thought that for several years, she was needed by her children and now that they can manage on their own, then she will no longer be needed and useful. A mother who experienced this fear of losing her children should try to immerse herself back into society by finding a business or a useful hobby that will keep her occupied. The feeling of uselessness is natural but you have to find a way to combat this fear by making yourself useful in some other ways. Also, why not look at the situation in another way? Why not accept the fact that you have reared your children so well and that you have prepared them to live their own lives? And now, it is time for them to try to walk alone without mommy's help.
Death in the family - A death in the family or in your circle of friends will always make a person realize how fleeting life can be. This realization will manifest itself into the fear of losing someone you love due to illness or sudden death. Death is inevitable and it would do you good to make time for people you love. If you are already spending enough time with them, then you can always improve the quality of time you spend with your loved ones.
The fear of losing a loved one is always in existence. One can never get away from this fear because there are situations that will make a person think of the possibility of being separated from the people they love. But the possibility of losing someone is one of life's facts and no one can prevent his from happening."
- Fear of sickness / Fear of pain - when you reach a certain age, you start realizing how important health is. A sick and tired body can't compete with the daily challenges so we have to concentrate on staying healthy. Even so, there is no guarantee that "sickness", "pain" will leave us alone, but it's worth trying!
- Fear of bad decisions - everybody has to take decisions at a certain point in life, that can totally change her / his future. You never know what will happen... Even if you are certain you took the right decision, it can turn out to be a disaster, and the other way around. But no risk, no fun! We have to learn and live with it.
- Fear of making mistakes - nobody is perfect. We all know that! So why are we so affraid to make mistakes? Mistakes are the best way to learn! When I was at school, I was affraid I will say something stupid and the whole school will tease me afterwards; now I am affraid I will do a mistake at work...that will cost my job.
- Fear of being yourself - so why is it so difficult to go out of our nutshell and show the world who we really are? Is it because we are affraid to be misjudged or misunderstood? Is it because we give too much importance of what others think about us? Well, I don't know...fact is I fell in love myself, and as long as I love myself...others will do the same. :)
- Fear of Fear - Fear is such a powerful feeling, so unpredictable! It makes you vulnerable and weak. We have to learn and live with it for the rest of our days. There are two options: either we control our fears and fight them or leave fear control us and turn us in somebody we are not. So...don't be affraid to take the right decision! "The experience of overcoming fear is extraordinarily delightful" (Bertrand Arthur William Russell).
And as a short conclusion to this long post I would like to quote Marie Curie:
"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."
